have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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