Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
