You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
