I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
