Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
