Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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