Umm I'm too high to move.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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