Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
