he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
