just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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