my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
