Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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