**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
