Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize