So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just puked most of my soul out..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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