do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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