Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
