I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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