What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
pop tarts are not kleenex
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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