is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
