Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
