it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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