he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
