Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
