I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
