your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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