Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
