but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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