you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
