On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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