If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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