I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
