I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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