If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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