Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
