i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
