My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
