You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
