Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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