no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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