Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
