Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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