Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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