god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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