do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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