bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
