There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
