dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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