I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
