Define "chronic" masturbator.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Holy shit dude........stairs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
