Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
