they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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