He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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