They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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