Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
