More tranny stories later!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize