Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
