took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
