I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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