fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
