This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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