just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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