i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
