I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
