brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
