he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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