He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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