If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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